Abby’s Dilemma: My Best Friend is Being Abused
Thought I should get one. I told him what he said. He didn't remember and he didn't care. I was being nice. I told him I just thought since my birthday was coming, to go and look at new phones. But I had to spell it all out to him He just didn't care.
Abby's Dilemma : My Best Friend Is Being Abused by Shirley Pierce Bostrom | eBay
Maybe he had a rough day, but it doesn't mean you talk to your sister like she's nothing Our parents both died this past summer. You would think he would be nice to me and cared more, but the truth is he never liked me abd was always ashamed of me and didn't like being around me. You can tell when someone doesn't like you, and he never liked me. I tried pointing it out how it made me feel and all he could do is tell me I'm in a "rage", when I wasn't even "yelling" at him.
And he just turned it all around back at me kike he always did. Never listens I'm not the only one he has done this too as I later found out - reading letters my mother kept from secretaries who quit working for him. They all said the same thing It described him to a "T" He changed into this arrogant elitist and acted like I didn't belong.
He had just passed the bar and became a lawyer with my dad. No matter what good I did, it was never enough. I was his dumb little sister and nobody cared. Not even my own parents. They just dismissed it. It was a pretty sucky life I've had I'm surprised I'm even still here I've had therapy a lot of years I could almost treat someone ;-P But I just got older and just gave up So it's been hard I still have depression and some days are better than others.
But I lost a LOT if faith in other people. Especially in this day and age. Nobody cares about anybody else but themselves. I know I'm not alone in how I feel either But I'm not mean to other people.
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At least not to their faces;-P But I'm basically a good person and I do know of all people know what it's kike to be trampled on and down troddened I don't even like it when I saw other kids in my special high school act socially superior to other kids who are not as socially developed or they were more disabled. I hate that! I don't treat them like that. I treat them like a human being! He doesn't care how he makes them feel. I'm not like that. But out of no hope for him, I just grew tired of giving a crap anymore.
He'll be all alone if he isn't aleady, but I seriously don't think he even gives a crap! With me, I'm alone because my learning problems get in the way and people who are really intelligent won't even look at me because to them I'm stupid Plus, people really just are not all that friendly They just care about what you have not who you are They target you the minute they see something wrong with you It's not a nice world Now everyone wants to kill, steal and rape! Psychopathy and the dark triad are concepts that fold into this , or tetrad as its coming to be known with the addition of active callous and sadistic satisfaction found in the worst abusers.
Aspergers and scd disorder play into this as does PDA autism or newsons syndrome as it was known. The pathological avoidance of socially acceptable attitudes and responsibilities for behaviour in completis sums up the pathologically aloof narcisissist, further distinction is that pathological demand avoidance co morbid with narcissism is anxiety based and defined as such, possibly hinting that the histrionics associated with some narcissists are the relived childhood traumatised emotion that are "undealt with" in the narcissists psyche if they are to be helped, simplistic emotional responses in place of sophisticated nuanced adult emotional behaviour, as if they are satisfying a game only they know the rules to.
Not to be confused with callous conduct disorder which if not managed manifests in adulthood as psycjhopathy. I cannot tell you how appreciative I am of this article. I am divorced almost a year after being married 23 years to a narcissist. But, I have great difficulty explaining why I divorced because its hard to offer a reasonable description of the horror.
He was, exactly as you describe - one man during the courtship and an entirely different self that first showed on our honeymoon. From there, it took me a decade of what seemed ever shifting sand of his unappeasable expectations, including 3 children before I could see that the elusive false self, the one he showed me during courtship and still showed outsiders, was not his real self. By the 10th year, I felt so "crazy" trying to understand what was happening, that I started to keep a journal so that I could look back over it and see my reality, not the World According to Him, which was often a re-write of history or entire fabrication of facts.
This journal gave me the ability to look back at what was happening, and over time, helped me find my way out. Today, it, serves to remind me of what hell we are finally free of.
It was not my imagination. And, every day I thank God to have gotten away from him. Unfortunately our children still struggle. The oldest is 20 and although she was subjected to his abuse, she views him as the "strong" or "powerful" parent, and identifies with him. As such, she is modeling many of his terrible behaviors and has struggled in her own path.
She is in counseling, so perhaps it will help but it is still very painful to see the legacy of dysfunction pass from one generation to the next. I too have been married to a N for 16 years and am divorcing him now.
ELDRIDGE v. ELDRIDGE
I finally awoke from my induced coma to realize that I was fine all along, it was he who was moulding me into the object he needed to satisfy his craving for attention. He mirrored all his bad onto me and I took it, all the while raising our children for him, doing everything for him, being the trophy wife, the sex pot, the mother, teacher, bookkeeper, stay at home wife, live in the box he made for me, no friends, no family just his, the daughter set to inherit parents wealth so he could continue in his sharade of power and status.
So many lies, so much pain. It will not be over soon, as he now wants to be father of the year and take my kids, saying I'm a bad mother, and he's not supported me or them in five months, leaving us on food stamps, claiming everything is his, the children, the land, the houses, etc. God help us who fight against Narcissists! I am in no way affiliated with the site other than being a forum member, but you story of your husband's abuse made me wish to invite you to the psychopathfree.
It has been a lifesaver for me as I have tried to overcome abuse, a smear campaign, and ostracization by a sociopathic former colleague. It is a wonderful and supportive group, and you'd be given lots of encouragement during this difficult time. Either way, I wish you all the best and much healing. Thank you for the encouragement.
by Arthur Miller
I am surely going to need it. I feel as if I am up against a wall of water Now this You are so right about what you said that you couldn't really put into words what was wrong or explain why you divorced. That's their main goal is to confuse us enough so we look like the crazy psychotic ones, it's just another tactic to place their inability to take responsibility for their actions.
The more I read about this type of inhumane and deceptive treatment, the more I get angry just knowing it's just a game they are playing and to see how much damage they can do to their victims, with no remorse for their actions. It makes you really question how someone can live with themselves knowing how wrong they really are, how much they have to lie to maintain control and how verbally and mentally abusive they can be. There are no boundaries whatsoever regarding how they dehumanize someone.
You are very lucky to have left him and wish you the best of luck. I am in the process, I just hope I can do it successfully.
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The word narcissism is one of the most frequently misused term in psychology. It has become the umbrella term for all sort of hostile behavior. They describe the characteristics of the Psychopathic personality disorder.